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Tuesday, December 8, 2009


I really shouldn't be here right now. I should be tucking myself into bed and nourishing these bags under my eyes with some much needed sleep. But I got that tingle, you know the kind you would get when you were a kid the night before Christmas? Something of that sort. I just felt inclined to write and so here I am at 2:41am and things look a little like this...

Finals week is rather hellish.

So I needed a break. See the boy went to bed rather early today because he is in a storm of finals as well. So I thought, I know.... lets have a stupid wicked dumb photoshoot. So I did that because he was sound asleep. And I would never do this while he is up because boys just don't understand the need to have a self photo shoot every now and then. Plus, I was feeling prettier than normal today?

Here I give you crazy eyes.

Here I would like to show you I have a neck.

Folks, I don't know what it is but my skin has been so flawless its scary. My skin hasn't been this smooth and even toned since before I hit the preteen years. People are like hey what are you doing?  I am like well...Drinking diet coke, eating eggs with omega-3's (20%  daily vitamin E for one egg and I eat two!) But other than that beats me. So let me be vain and document it for you.

I had to throw it in there.

Not done yet.

Look I am channeling Lindsay Lohan ( I hate my DAD!) jaykay.


Okay done now.

So I was feelin' extra pretty today because one of the perks of losing weight is getting hit on more (let me enjoy my youth while I still got it okay). I stopped into good ol' Subway today to get me and the boy dinner because I am not cooking because its just too physically and emotionally demanding during finals dammit.

So this Mexican boy is getting all flustered trying to flip his knife and not catching it and just looking like a ball of total nerves. At first I thought drugs? Crack? Coke? Meth? Is this guy tweakin? I mean he was so flustered that it was making me uncomfortable.

So he's ringing me up  and it goes like this.

Mexican Subway Boy: "Do you want to get a Subway card?"

Me: "Oh no thanks I don't really come here that often."

Mexican Subway Boy: "Well you should really get one you can get free....blah blah blah"

Me: "No, its okay but thank you anyways"

Mexican Subway Boy (in a nervous rushed tone): "WellyoushouldreallygetonesoIcan make you more...more...sandwiches!"

Me: "Its okay I'll pass I don't come here that often. I haven't been here in a while"

MSB: "Really when was the last time?"

Me: "Probably like 3 months."

MSB: "No it hasn't been that long I would never forget your face."

Me: "insert nervous Kendra from Girls Next Door laugh here"

Take receipt and have a good night and scene.

It's coo' you know. But I am totally not hitting that Subway  for a looooong time to come.

I came home and told Ben and he had a good laugh. Oh he loves to laugh at all the stories I tell him when guys try to pick up on me. It hilarious to him in a fat, jiggly, man falls down semi-nude kinda way because thats the kinda laugh he gives. Kinda like hah, sucker. I win, you lose. Obvs he thinks he's stickin'  it to these admirers because they weren't able to conquer what he already has. Boys, I tell you. So territorial and primal. You just have to love them.

All fat, jiggly man jokes aside. Its funny how getting hit on really does motivate you to just stay lookin' good. See when I was getting tubby wubby I was showing some weight in my face and mid-section. Ugh, that is the worst for women. I mean is there anything more demeaning than just getting a gut and a fat face?

Please fat, share some of the glory with my ass or boobs, why always the face and gut? Genetics. Good grief.

See right after I got my hair cut a few weeks ago an Asian guy who goes to Stanford totally hit on me at Target. It was so cute. He stuttered an we made totally awkward conversation (because you can't just shout I HAVE A BOYFRIEND when the admirer hasn't even said anything remotely pickupish yet) then he was like can I talk to you sometime? And I said sorry I have a stinky boyfriend already  then we said awkward K take cares! (Insert Ben's muahaha laughs here)

So that folks is I guess why I felt like having a photo shoot today. Because its two for two in one month? Not too bad I thinks me gots my mojo back and up and runnin'?

Now you tell me, what ridiculous pick up lines have men used on you? Spill.


  1. My now-husband, when picking me up in the bar for the one-night-stand we thought we were going to be, asked me if I was picking up what he was putting down.

    Apparently I was.

  2. Haha, same story for me as now-significant other whom I'm having his baby met me at a bar where I figured he'd just be a one-nighter and I'm sure he thought the same thing..esp when he only remember my last name the next morning and not my first name! (figures)...but his line was, "so, you got a number?" OMG!!

    It worked...

  3. LOL you two are too funny and good thing it worked out : )

  4. Just the other day I was walking with my bff and her lover/friend. He's a pretty big guy. We had crossed the road to get to the caf, and this black guy pulls up. He stops the car and asks,

    "Do any of you girls need a ride to McDonald's?"

    Us girls kept walking, and my friend's loverboy stopped, looked at the guy with batting eyelashes, and said,

    "No. I'm fine. Thank you though."

    It was great. The guy took off pretty quick after that.

  5. looking great! we all deserve a bit of vanity now and then hehehe. :)