When the fear consumes you.

I've been saying it for months already. In a huff, out of irritation, out of nowhere. I NEED A NEW DAMN JOB. I'll write a resume later I told myself. I would make excuses. Oh I can't apply anywhere right now my schedule is too weird. Oh I'll write my resume after this set of midterms, oh i'll write them after these darn finals, oh I'll write it as soon as I get back from vacation...Catching my drift?

So finally tonight, the voice in my head said, "Hey you could write your resume right now?" and then I thought "Hmmm I am behind on two Gossip Girl episodes."

Wow. Yes really.

But today I FINALLY wrote my resume. Its not the best thing ever but hey, its something. (If anyone reading this post is a bad ass resume reviewer, email me asap!)

I wrote up my resume and sent it out to a marketing internship position that opened up in San Francisco. Gosh I am all nerves. What if they actually call me back??? What if they want an interview?!?

The thought of drastic change is scary but it has to be done.

I have been at my job for 2.5 years now. I've mastered it. Its boring to me. While I love the interaction with the patients the job doesn't relate strongly to my major. Not to mention its killing my back and shoulders with all of the lifting, crouching, and bending I have to do. Oh and I have tired of the uniform! I feel that in this day and age, in this economy that is slowly rising back to its feet, you have to be ahead of the curve. If I develop some real life skills that are applicable to my career field I feel I will have an advantage.

I am ready for a change. I have problems with my confidence. Problems with believing in my self, and problems with valuing my set of skills at a job.

But I am excited. I think an internship in San Francisco would be a blast! BARTing it to the city and getting the big city experience.

Its funny because I feel Herman's death, while tragic, was the kick in the ass that I needed. It made me feel like really, we don't know what the fuck is going to happen and why wait until tomorrow, or in my case months, to do what you can do today?

Wish me luck folks!

(Me and my Lovey Bear this past Sunday.)