Because I like to make excuses for myself

I like how in my pre-laptop days I was convinced I would most definitely blog more if I ever had a wonderous laptop. Now here I am, about 2 months with a laptop and the post consistency has faired the same.

I've been doing that a lot lately. Thinking I have valid reasons not to do something. For instance, I was convinced I could not study at home because Ben can be so damn chatty and distracting. But now that he has a weekend job and I have the time span from 11-6 all to me and me only, I still can't study. I had to take my incompetent ass to the library.

I have a love hate relationship with this blog I must admit. Sometimes I feel like writing and other times I think I rather peel potatoes.

I have been figuring out a lot of things lately. And I've come to a conclusion. Your twenties are bittersweet. No, seriously.

Sure they are most likely the best looking years of your life if you are into collagen and elasticity (um, yes please!) but, they are also a time of self discovery. And the self discovery thought process goes a little like this..

Am I really happy? Or am I just unhappy because I am too young and dumb to know any better? Am I really mad? Am I overexaggerating? Am I supposed to feel this way? Am I normal? Am I going about this the right way?

And you know some of the pestering questions have been answered but some still remain to unravel as I progressively age.

For instance in my teens I thought one day I would seek a profession where I could help others because gosh, I love helping others. Let me teach, let me guide, let me service!

But then with time I realized that I don't really like helping people a whole lot UNLESS I deem them sufficiently worthy. And lets just say my standards are high. No, no, no...don't judge. This is surely logical.

See for instance I don't help the dingbat from one of my classes who hasn't attended one class because he is just soooo cool by giving him copies of all of my notes. Nope, sorry. Not worthy.

But I do help the elderly and open doors for them and the such.

So there. My logic has been proven.

I guess my point is that the twenties are just all about trial and error. Until you finally get the pattern and realize someday that you are fully aware of exactly how you want to live your life.

If I am lucky that will happen around the time I am forty.