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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Quarter Life Crisis

A lot has happened in the past month. Too much for my little brain to be able to eloquently put into words.

I got to see my Dad during my break. That was wonderful but at the same time I am wondering why he didn't really want to come stay with me at my place and instead stayed with his sister the whole time. That kind of sucked.

I saw my grand father die on the fourth of July.

We are taking care of a Chihuahua our neighbors found. I feel I am getting a taste of mother hood here. Just a taste.

I found a kitten with a busted leg. Took it to a rescue place.

Its the 5th week of school and I am so behind because all of this happened sequentially.

But I don't want to talk about any of that stuff.Not at this moment anyways.

See, I am less than two weeks shy of turning 24. 24. YES...24. It feels so strange. I told my mother today that I feel as if I am going through a quarter life crisis. She told me she felt the same way at about 20-21 years of age but largely due to the fact that she had me at 17.

I can't really explain the feeling. Its not a thought that keeps recurring over and over in my head. Its just a feeling of unaccomplishment and unfulfilledness. Like a hollowness. As if their is a void. As life gets more and more different every year. Less fun. You see your friends less. Now I see my family less. I feel a bit of detachment. Some where I am stuck in the middle on my way to adulthood but not too fargone from childhood.

I know I am not alone in this boat. As I've chuckled a few times as I've seen other fellow Facebook friends from high school post about feelings running in the same vein.

I had put my laptop away when I recieved a text from my dear friend Ana. Mind you, it was 12:45am.

Ana: "Hi Friend...U Sleeping?"
Me: "No lol still a night owl"
Ana: "Me too. I couldn't sleep so I'm driving around.:) I just drove past ur old houseand both of our old schools...time goes by too f-ing fast! : ( I am freaking out. I'm having a breakdown too! I feel like I'm not doing enough for all the time that's passing!"

I can see she too has the same feeling of unfulfilledness and unaccomplishment. I wonder if its a biological timer that goes off in our brain. Ding, ding, ding! Time to feel sorry for yourself! You are getting "old"

When in all reality we are not old and that is not the main complaint here at all. But this feeling is hard to kick and I've been giving myself mini pep talks that sometimes help and other times don't.

Growing up is hard to do!


  1. I read this somewhere: "Struggling is part of development and growth... this is a growing pain."

    Good luck, you're not alone :-)

  2. you are DEFINITELY not alone! i went through that a few months ago. its funny how we feel that we are running out of time when we are only in our mid 20s. i felt like i didn't know what direction my life should take and i had to decide NOW or i'll be too old. the only way to get through it and find out what you want to do is just by trying. yup, growing up is hella hard to do!

  3. oh hun I turned 24 on the 29th of June I feel you! 110% I am currently Enrolled in a self help / personal development workshop to figure out the direction of my life... I think I have found it too! I don't think your wrong feeling this way I have always felt like that.. I should be doing more bigger better things and I feel like I never accomplish anything due to the feeling that I should be doing more!

    My question is always when will I feel a sense of accomplishment in my life like I have done something... ??? I hope you start to feel better looks like your bday is this week! HAPPY BDAY!

    Take each day in strides... I am changing a few things myself now that I am "older and wiser" hope to see you around more!