Benny: You're getting paid soon aren't you?
Me: Yes I am, this week.
Benny: I can tell.
Me. Hmm? What do you mean? How?
Benny: The fridge is empty.
Me: Oh yes, yes it is.
The dreaded empty fridge. Today is pay day and it is my duty as an unwed house wife to promptly restock the damn appliance. Which of course I shall as soon as I get off work.
The words Pay Day used to bring joy into my once simple life. Now they make me go, meh. Bleh, meh, sigh. Back when I was under my parents wing and unwavering care, pay days used to be a celebration, a rush, a high, an anxious excitement. Now they are just a reminder of my obligations and right now the phrase " You Make Money Just to Lose Money" is quit fitting.
I make about $400 every two weeks and heres how it's allocated every two weeks:
Right now my monthly obligations obliterate 78.50% of my paycheck. (oh yes, I did just calculate that.)
That leaves me with a grand total of $ 172 dollars a month. But somehow that cash ends up slipping through my fingers like sand with unexpected bills or improper calculations.
Despite the fact that none of that money is mine. It gives me a feverish ambition to pull through and work harder and truly make something of myself. It gives me that extra pep in my step when I am lugging my lazy arse around campus.
But at this point in my life I dread and loathe those two words. It feels like a once blistful marriage that went awfully awry. The spark is gone...but only for now.