The Return of The Fern

I've been a miniature hiatus for good reasons. See the week before this past week I was in the midst of a finals hurricane. My procrastination is ridiculous and I paid for it. Hard. But somehow I always pull it off. Not smoothly. But hey whatever right?

So last weekend I went to San Diego with my friend, her sister, and her daughter. Upon my arrival back home I decided it was damn time me and Ben go on a mini vacay. So the next day our hotel was booked in the ghetto of LA and we drove down this past thursday. Our hotel was so ghetto we decided to only stay in it the first night and the second night we stayed with my Uncle Lalo. See, he isn't really my uncle but we just call him that because its better than saying "He's my mom's gay friend." I mean how impersonal does that sound?

Lalo invited me and Ben to a gay club. A latino gay club. Do you understand what a gay club in LA means? OMG. It was like the mecca of gays united and we were teleported into the land of the Happy. It was wonderful! Thinly plucked eyebrows were abundantly present. Swiveling hips with no curves. But also there were men there I would have never ever penned for gay. Seriously!

And do you know what? The gays looooooved Benny! And Benny loves the gays! Except Benny isn't gay obvs. So it was all kinds of funny.

I'd never been to a gay club of this level. I mean it was insanity. We had a blast. And the gays play the best music everrrrr. Lady GaGa and Brit Brit were steadys in the DJ's playlist. Um hello! Heaven!

And me and the boy beached it a lot. Southern California beaches are a thing of magic. Warm, sunny, and deeeeelicious. Right when we first got to the beach me and Ben got into a bit of a tiff and for the first 30 mins he was in the car pouting and I was on the beach pouting. Then I realized this could go on forever so I sent him a text telling him to get his baby butt out here on the beach. And then he did. And then we did this...

The neighbors watched my retarded cat Free Free. They played with her and gave her lovin' while me and the boy were away.

Our neighbor likes to hang out in our home and watch our television despite the fact that he has his own. Isn't that hysterical? We can always tell because the settings on the TV are all messed up and the remote is never where we leave it. Whatever. We don't mind.

Our trip was wonderful. Although I was a little sad to find out Ben isn't as crazy about LA as I am. I loooooove LA. I mean its not healthy now bad I want to live there. I am mental. City lungs and traffic and superficiality. Oh but the beaaaaaaaach. I love the beach.

And I guess I love the people.

But most of all I love doing this...

Napping on the beach