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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Beauty is a Bitch.

I had the most hellish experience getting a hair cut today ever recorded in my 23-years of life. When in search of a great place to go and with no recommendations via word of mouth, I am left no choice but to hit up Yelp. Surprisingly a lot of the salons with good reviews don't open on Sundays. And me being the impatient person that I am decided to go to some place with mediocre reviews.

I get there and this very cute guy named James greets me. He has gay written all over him because no straight man would style their hair the way he does. Oh well harmless eye candy for moi! So immediately we start talking and are getting along quite nicely. We go shampoo my hair and it felt like he took forever. So back to the chair we go and he had tangled my hair into a hot hot mess. It was like tangled up Christmas lights except about 10 times worse. "Wow your hair tangles really easily." He says. Funny, it never quite tangled like this before you touched it I thought to myself. ::Sigh:: I knew my stubborn ass got exactly what I deserved when you do things too hastily and impatiently.

This is how today went "So what are you studying..." Yank Yank Yank "Um....Ow...Um....Business Ow..." Rip Rip Rip "Oh really thats great...." Tear Tear Tear. Yank Yank Yank.

The boy had a fantastic personality but absolutely no grace. He man handled my poor little scalp as if he were pretending it was an ex who had done him wrong. "Sooooo what made you want to go to beauty school?" I curiously asked as my head lopped from side to side, I had become densitized by this point. "Oh I just didn't know what to do with my life so I decided to go to beauty school because its an easy way to get girls."


Apparently and only according to him he wasn't gay. In fact, he raved about how he loved dating younger girls. I still have my suspicions but with the grace he lacked maybe my gaydar is a little skewed since quitting the Gap 2 years ago.

He burned my ears a couple of times when flat ironing my hair and continued to yank the crap out of my fine locks and I cringed everytime I heard a precious strand snap. Surprisingly the end result wasn't as terrible as the process itself. It actually came out quite nice despite the fact that he said he didn't do hair the conventional way and did it the way he wanted, AKA he had no formal technique for making sure the hair was even or doing it the proper way it should be done.

Needless to say as nice as he was I WILL NOT  be going back. My tender scalp is feeling sore already. I could be mean and log into my Yelp account and tear him a new one but he is so green to the scene that I couldn't find the heart to do it. I am sure future clients who won't be as nice as me will be quick to let him know to ease up on the scalp abuse. And maybe he will learn and grow from there. If not, its  time for him to start looking for a new career because his ass isn't getting any referrals thats for sure!

Do you guys have any stories of having your hair butchered?


  1. Thank God, no. I would have stopped him and said, "I can untangle my hair myself, you're ripping it out." Sometimes it's better to speak up, sister!

  2. I was in college and home for a holiday when I decided to get my hair cut. Went to a cheap chain place and that should have been my first red flag. My hair was between my shoulder and chest and told the stylist I only wanted 2 inches off. That would have put my hair right at my shoulders.

    The stylist grabbed a section of my hair and started cutting. I have thick hair that needs to be sectioned out before being cut. My hair ended up being really short hitting my chin. It wasn't evenly cut so there were longer pieces poking through the short cut AND it wasn't even on the sides.

    My mom thought it was hilarious though and that all my problems would be fixed if I just tilted my head to the left. :( Needless to say I had to pay someone to fix it and have been really picky with my hair and getting it cut since then.