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Friday, November 6, 2009

is it in the cards?

I was pondering and evaluating why my whole life I've never really fancied marriage. I got to thinking about a lot of things. I became cognizant of my feelings at a young age.  Since I was a little girl I never correlated marriage with serenity, peace, and optimal happiness.Both sets of grandparents...divorced... most of my own parents...D-word. The boy and me have been together 5 years and I still haven't been allured by its appeal. Funny how the baggage from your upbringing sticks with you and leaves you jaded. And I am not jaded by choice. Its just simply the case of not missing what you've never known. Not longing for what never was.

Am I weird for not thirsting for marriage? That I am okay with having children but never taking those vows?

I find it a bit strange. I would love to yearn for it. But I simply don't.

Will I always feel this way?


  1. So interesting. But your relationship has lasted longer than many marraiges, and many people place more importance on the wedding than the relationship. So, I'd say you're doing something right. Learning something valuable from the 'baggage.' Not bad.

  2. ah, don't worry. marrage if your not related is simply a fincial status... AKA you file your taxes jointly or seperatly. Me and Hubby (baby daddy/fiance) are in no rush to get married. its simply just a status. If you live together take care of eachother and love eachother, have a family together... thats all that matters.. no title no icky sticky divorce... :) hope that helped!

  3. Thank you guys, your comments did make me feel better : )

  4. I was married for a year...and now I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year after being divorced for 2 years. In our eyes (he's divorced as well), it's an unnecessary thing. We've both been there and done that...and while the experience is nice, to us, it adds un-needed pressures. We're expecting a child it's going to be a bother to my family...but I still feel very committed to him without the proper ceremony and paperwork.

    Marriage looks good on paper...and looks good in the long run...but honestly, if you and boy are absolutely happy after these 5 years...then there's no reason to stress about your not thirsting for it! If its in your cards, it'll happen...but just be glad that you're happy!!! :)

  5. I'm probably not the right person to ask because my bf and I have been together for 26+ years and don't really think about marriage. My mother has been married 5x and my bf and I have been together longer than all her 5 marriages put together. Enjoy your relationship and don't worry about conforming to society's expectations that you have to have a piece of paper to be commited to each other.

    I like to say marriage is something grown ups do and I don't want to be one. ;)